It was the first time I actually traveled back to China more than once a year. This time was for my niece who just finished her high school, a period all Chinese students are traumatized by. She did ok with the university entrance exam, the only exam that matters in terms of university applications. What an odd system, but it is probably the only way that works in the complex context of China.
Anyway, she is done with the exam and we were relatively happy with the results she got. The rest of tasks were to find out which school and subject she is about to apply. It was not an easy task for someone who has spent her whole life in school with little side project ongoing. Suddenly in the hot summer of 2024 in Fuzhou, she was forced to join in a discussion where she has the least to contribute to. In fact, she has little to say on what to study, but she did have some opinions on what not to study, such as biology- and chemistry-related subjects. She blamed it for her lack of natural interests and a little bit of phobia of bloody or risky stuff. She did not like risks. That was her understanding of her life choices to this point. But how can one avoid any risks, and why would one do that? Nevertheless, she has little to say against the subjects we proposed in the end. If she had understood the risks lying behind those subjects, she would probably said no to them, I guess. I did try my best to explain to her the hidden challenges she was not even aware of at this stage, but she seemed to accept them anyhow. My theory is that she would turn out more like her uncle at some point of her life, and become more risk-taking as a result of being open-minded in general. It is the fate of everyone who is open to unknowns, in my opinion.
Fuzhou is a nice place to be in, despite the crazy hot weather in the past month, being the hottest place in China this year so far. The landscape is similar to where I live in Norway, with many mountains, lakes, and tunnels. I often felt like dreaming while my brother-in-law drove me around in his beloved Taurus, with AC on. Life was great with family and especially with my nieces close-by. I so needed the peace and comfort being with my nieces, after losing A for Glioblastoma. It was therapeutic playing with them. I bought so many board games to them, the ones I used to play with A back then. They loved them and I was the only one that actually played games with them in the family. The others considered it childish and they'd rather browsering through their tik-tok feeds. Maybe I should try to visit my nieces more often, before they grew too old to care about playing with their uncle. The greater niece has shown traces of staying cool by not engaging me too much on her thoughts and plans. We did not talk too much this time, despite the discussions on university applications and during board games. While the little one, at age 8, was talking all the time and wanted me to join all her adventures. It became a bit annoying at times, but I should say that I really liked the way she engaged me in her little life. I do not want them to grow old and behave like adults, but the society seems to change everyone gradually and all will be made fit in the same mold, sadly. I hope this will not happen to them and they can keep their uniqueness.
Ever since I left my hometown for studying, I have been relocating myself for self development and career progressing reasons. I did not burn all my bridges, and I do keep contacts with several of my best friends. But with so little time of my holiday, I could not spare enough time to visit any of them, since they were left in different cities that I once stayed. To this date, I cannot tell if I have made smart decisions on relocating and finding me new challenges. I guess it was a sacrifice to achieve the targets I had set for myself. My experience also inevitably affected the discussion on where my niece should study. "Better in this province", as they repeatedly suggested. I understood them. I wanted to say that I never regret my choices, and I actually finally got my inner peace after I moved to Norway, which was my biggest motivation and goal of life. I did not tell them that. I did also hope that I had the luxury to stay in the same city doing something I liked, and to live a normal life as a straight person. I did not have any of that. The choice for my niece to stay in Fuzhou is not bad at all.
Another big part of traveling back to China, is to taste all the good food and snacks. I love Chinese snacks, even though I do not eat that much. The food industries are so much more creative and daring compared to the conservative and almost stubborn nature of Norwegian companies. People in Norway are still eating exactly the same, almost, stuff as 40 years ago. And they seem to be happy with their creativity by coating everything they can imagine with chocolate, very sweet chocolate. Yes, I have a bias on the Norwegian taste buds. If I do not come back to China in 2 years, I would (happily) have troubles knowing what to look for on the internet. And yes, everything is ordered from net and the delivery is like lightening speed compared to Posten. In fact, everything goes faster here. Some will follow 5-minutes-to-watch-a-film kinda of channels to "watch" an idea of a film. People are stuck on the telephones watching non-stop tik-toks for things they dont know they dont know and things they never need to know. At these times, I get reminded of the nice slow-pace Norwegian life that I truly appreciated. Then I can make peace with my decisions staying there, even though it is so so far away from all my family. I made a selfish decision long time ago, and that was to put myself in the center of my own life. That has rewarded me immensely.
It will not be another half year before I come back to Fuzhou. My mom is about to move in my sister's place in Fuzhou later this year. She is getting old, and will reach 70 this November. She does not look or act as old as she actually is, which is great. But it is good for her to get familiarized with the new place while she is still healthy and young. Good in the long term. But again, it brings a bit sadness out of me, knowing my mom is leaving the place she had lived her whole life. Even though a lot has changed in our hometown, she has witnessed all the changes. She told me that she wanted to bring the old sewing machine with her to my sister's place. I have to admit that this was not a popular decision and it takes quite a lot of space especially considering how little that will be used. But I supported her. I told her that she got to keep it, because that machine has witnessed all the changes with her, and that machine will be the time travel machine to bridge her memories to the past, and to bring her home. She agreed.
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