Today our dear friend Ralf went on his way to becoming dust in the universe. Everything was a bit too peaceful this morning. The day was bright, still but a bit cold. The house is full, fireplace lit, music on, people waking up, dogs wandering around. I was playing magic for the first time with Torb and Bjørn. There came the heavy breath suddenly from him. The breaks became longer and longer and the silence getting louder. It did not last too long until we realized that the last breaths were coming close. It reminded me of the last few moments of Andreas. He has not eaten anything for more than three days. I can imagine the weakness he bore. Weirdly the effort to breath did not sound desperate as one may suspect. And it did not seem that he was trying to live longer or he just became too weak to try. It must be hard, but the process appeared rather peaceful, unlike the people around him.
This is a truly sad day, even though he wanted us to celebrate his life rather than the loss. We all heard what he wanted. I envy him for the life and adventures he got to experienc, or rather the life he has created and made happen. What a great man you have been, Ralf, a kind, brave, smart, unprejudiced, critical, patient, empathetic, funny and lovely man.
I was doing the last xmas shopping later this day for tomorrow's HEF event. A question kept flashing in my mind: what is the legacy Ralf may want us to remember? Or is this even something he minded at all. I never asked him about this question. I guess everyone wants to leave something for people to remember, something nice. Ralf has been vocal about and fighted for many big and small things he cared and thought mattered for various communities and humanity in general. His contributions to Human-Etisk Forbund, tannlegeforening, Funkishuset and various music corps are beyond counting. A brave, critical and inspring figure for all of us. I believe his legacies will stay withthe people he worked with, helped and lived with for a very long time. Among the many, I want to remeber the part of him being a caring and open-minded person. He is a man with high moral standards and a gentle heart. It did not take long time for one to realize that. I almost immediate rekoned that he could be a good friend when I met him with Andreas for the first time about 10 years ago. It is easy for one to claim to be open-minded and kind, but it takes many pains, deep reflections, pure honesty and courage to become truly one. I think it is the highest achievement a person can make. And Ralf is such a man. It is never about realizing the egos one often talks about, whether it is for oneself or for the greater community for recognition or self-affirmation. For him, it is about what is right, that simple.
Ralf, it has been a true privilige to know you and be a good friend of yours. I feel stupid now that I never told you that how proud I am of you. Being as stubborn as me, there are very few people that have truly made impacts on me, and you are one of them. I think you are the type of people that is immortal. You have planted your ideas, your way of thinking, and your staburn humanism in so many of us. I hope this may give you peace.
Good bye my friend. Rest in peace. I will miss you deeply. <3
Yours,
Pengyu
23.12.2025
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